Myths about Penetrative Sex

Myths around Sex

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Myth: All people should want (and prefer) penetrative sex.

Fact: Many people PREFER (or are at least available for) other types of sexual play or intimacy that do not involve penetration- cuddles, making out, energy play, massage, food play, power-play etc!

Mantras:

--I give myself permission to have the sex I LIKE to have, not the

sex I THINK I should be having.

--I give myself permission to have the intimacy I LIKE to have, not the intimacy I think I SHOULD be having.

--My desires and boundaries surrounding sexuality are important and valuable. Finding others that share these same boundaries is possible for me.

Conversation Starters:

"I'd like to connect intimately with you. I want to be clear that I am not interested in any form of penetrative sex. Would you be open to exploring with me while honoring that boundary?"

"Would you be open to co-creating a sensual experience for us that did not include any form of penetration?”

“Could you allow yourself to fully be present and fulfilled in an experience that included very specific boundaries?"

"I'd love to tell you about some sensual things I like that do not involve penetration..."

“Would you be open to a conversation around what sex means to me?”

“It is important to me that my sensual experiences with others are non-goal oriented and non-penetrative. What experiences have you had that fall within that category?”

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“Sex” is so much more than putting X into Y. Just some of the downfalls of this definition is that it is heteronormative, goal oriented, and extremely narrow.

Expanding our definition of sex and being curious about what “sex” means to others is the key to exploring with more pleasure, more connection, and more joy.

xoxo